This is a reply post that I sent to Sam. Since he's actually deleted replies that did not agree with him off of his site in the past, I want to be sure that he can never completely take this one off of the web. I think everyone should have a right to read it if they would like to since it reveals a little something that Sam neglected to mention in his post when he was referring to me. Yes the line below is true, I was offended to tears. Trust me, several more were shed everytime I rewrote and reread this. Now then, I'm off to type a few papers for history while I feel that a weight has been lighted off my chest.
(And of course...)
Bar bar bar
About one week ago this post was pointed out to me by a friend…
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Well, life sure knows how to make itself harder when you need it the least. Still have no car (but that will change on Wendsday so yay), people are still hitting me up for money that I owe them (what they don't realize is that I haven't been promoted yet and that I can't exactly pull the money out of my ass damnit! Leave me alone and enjoy your fucking relationship Forgo!), school isn't as easy as it was earlier this semester but it's almost over so that makes it a bit better ,ect ect.
There, my rant is public. I'm just so tired of people trying to convince me that no one has ever had a better life. Congradulations on getting that other job that I turned down, you know, the one with the better pay. Kudos on the fact that you got a new boyfriend the instant that you kicked me out of your life. No, I didn't mind being used as a rebound for you, one that you could kick to the curb once your old crush comes back into the picture.
Anyway, that's out there and I do feel a bit better. Anyway, I got to get to work on a Sociology paper so I'm out of here.
P.S. Ex's suck, yah, you know who I'm talking about. "My life is SOOO hard. I have a boyfriend that does nothing most of the time but still gets paid for it. My parents pay for most of my apartment and I get to choose when to go to work. I live in my own happy place with my friends and cats...but no one has a harder life than me."......... Grow the fuck up!
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…Instead of turning around right that moment and unleashing my feelings, I decided to hold my tongue until I was calm and collected so that I could make my point without so many needless, irrational emotions. So I guess, here is the post that some would have probably expected to be the first reply.
I just want one thing to be clear. I am not going to brow beat Sam for having feelings or voicing them and I am not going to attempt to get his post taken down. After all, that would be what he did to John and Alex when what they had to say in their replies did not support him. That would be ridiculous anyways even if he had not done that since no one is liked by everyone. That’s a pretty easy concept, if you ask me.
There were only a few certain things in that post that offended me to tears, one of which I would prefer to never go into, the other I feel people should know a little something about that Sam neglected to mention.
Sam can be found saying in the above quote that I claimed that my life was among the most terrible out there.
"My life is SOOO hard.
He even had the nerve to use quotes as if I would ever have the audacity to say that. I have talked people back from committing suicide, I have done volunteer work with orphans and the homeless, and I have had friends commit suicide without ever revealing how they felt or why to anyone. I also have had a boyfriend since December, two cats that I love since November, a family that loves me unconditionally, and a handful of truly good friends.
There is absolutely no reason why I should say those words or ever even think them.
I leave those words to Brian, a person that I had feelings for, that I actually had a crush on, and that commit suicide during my freshman year in high school. Instead of leaving those words on a note for the rest of us to read, his note had a much different message.
“I love you all”
So please everyone, do me a little favor. Never put those words into my mouth because I am undeserving of them just as the majority of the people that read this will be as well. In all honesty I can only think of one person among us that comes close to deserving those words, and no, it is not Sam. Instead, I have never heard him once utter those words either.
There was something else linked to that phrase that really hurt me. Sam, you made me out to sound like a sad and pathetic creature just because of money.
- When he saw me one week before that post, I was happily doing the dishes in my kitchen.
- When he talked to me over the phone two weeks before that post, I sounded miserable.
- When he talked to me over the phone three weeks before that post, I sounded just as much if not even more miserable.
Before someone thinks that those times when we were talking and I was sad was because of the money, let me clue you in on a little something. A few days before that first phone call, my grandmother had finally passed away after suffering for nearly a year.
This would also be the same grandparent that I left my home, university, and friends in Portland, OR to be with and help take care of just case those were her last few days. (Know that I am very thankful that I chose to make that sacrifice). The same grandparent that was my nanny everyday until my little sister was born when I was four and a half. I was the grandchild that saw her the most. My family stayed near by in case anything should happen and to run the family business. Her other daughter and son moved to make their lives as they chose to just as my mother chose hers. My cousins had a hard time traveling all the way to Houston to see Grandma Ivan and Grandpa Bill as compared to the thirty minute drive for me. I went and visited her and my grandfather every time my mother was going over there instead of coming up with excuses and staying home to watch “The Simpsons” or some other “dreck” like that. I even went by myself to see her. I had to drag my little sister along sometimes because she said it was boring. I actually had to remind her that Grandma Ivan and Grandpa Bill would not be there forever and that she should enjoy what time she had left with them; that they really enjoyed waking up those mornings because they knew that we would be there shortly to visit.
I found it to be very inconsiderate of you to paint me in that light when I was grieving.
Make sure that before you start posting about me and how I am acting, to get the facts straight. My entire life does not revolve around you and the money you owe me.
You keep hearing about this $500. You and I both know, Sam, that you owe over $500. You know that for your sake, I said I would be happy with just the $500 so that I would not set you back too far. If you have not noticed, I still have not asked for more than $500. I just want back some of the money that I lent you so that you could afford rent and the bills. I just want to be able to put a deposit down on the next apartment and pay off my credit card bills. Please stop whining now about how terrible your life is, and start looking at what you do have going your way, family for example. How is your grandmother doing since you get to see her everyday?
Now to finally wrap this up…After seeing this post and how you worded it, I have only one more thing on my mind. I am ashamed of you.
I spent several days sitting with you discussing philosophy, religion, and other such subjects of the more sophisticated sort. Now to see what you have been reduced to after all your speeches about higher thinking, I am very let down. How could you let yourself fall so far from what you believe in? If you really wish to study philosophy or become a psychologist, you need to break away from such childish rants and think before you act. For example, I rewrote this post two or three times before I ever posted it. I also read over it more times than I care to count, just to be sure that I said what I mean and omitted as much feeling as I could bare to do away with.
Remember, do not put words into other people’s mouths, and be sure to always have all of the facts before you assume or post anything. You would not want to make yourself look like an inconsiderate ass after all. | 
